Who You Callin' Specks?
by BonsaiBabe
Summary: Roderich finds out that Gilbert secretly wears glasses. Amusing times follows. No plot to speak of.


**[A/N If you do not like spreadsheets, yaoi, or smut you probably shouldn't read this story. Just sayin.]**

Sitting behind his computer, Gilbert sat back, frowned, and nibbled on his pen. These spreadsheets were shit. They'd have to be done again. dumbass inters…..

He highlighted a large portion of the calculations with his mouse. Pausing dramatically first, Gilbert let his finger tap the backspace key. Just like that, gone. These computer things were pretty great. Couldn't do that with a pen and paper. Nope. One little mistake and you had to start over. Gilbert Beilschmidt was not a patient man.

While Gilbert was tinkering with the formulas on Microsoft Excel, Ludwig came into his little office. "When do you think you'll have those finance reports on my desk for approval?" Ludwig asked.

"I dunno, West. As usual, those interns don't know their asses from their elbows. I'm going to have to redo the better part of this."

Ludwig ran his hands through his hair and let a sigh of frustration out. "I need those things post haste, Gilbert. I'd appreciate it if you could have them on my desk tonight."

"I'm not a fucking miracle worker," Gilbert said irritably. "But I am pretty fucking awesome. I'll have them done. Now quit distracting me so I can get to work." Ludwig opened the door but before he could go Gilbert said, "Hey, can you have Italy make me some tea?" Ludwig opened his mouth to say something, probably along the lines of 'my boyfriend is not your maid,' 'make your own tea, lazy,' or even 'bitch, please.' Instead, he closed his mouth and nodded. If Gilbert was going to be working hard for once then the least he could do is get the man some tea.

Gilbert turned back to his work. Sigh. Where were those ministry of finance reports again?

Secretly, Gilbert liked helping West out with Germany's affairs. Sure, the first ten or fifteen years of being completely free from administrative duties had been a blast but after awhile it all hit Gilbert. And it hit him hard.

He was no longer a country. He had no direction, no cause, no responsibility, no _meaning _to his life. It was around 1962 that Gilbert had his full on existential crisis. It was like the past fifteen years had been a dream. Like he'd wake up and everything would be fine. He'd wake up, kiss his picture of Fritz he kept on his nightstand, then go into the office to negotiate some new trade agreements in the name of the mighty fine kingdom of Prussia.

When he finally hit rock bottom in the sixties he was a walking mess. He didn't shave, he drank all day, and he was violent. His friends stopped coming around, horrified at his state. Even Ludwig had been guarded, sending Italy away until he could be sure that Gilbert wasn't going to snap and murder them all.

Finally, Gilbert was able to get himself together. Enough, at least, for Ludwig to cautiously suggest that Prussia help with the day to day running of Germany. But he would be on serious probation. One slip up and he was out. Gilbert clung to the idea. Reluctantly at first, but with increased vigor as he got involved. It was good again to be useful, to help run a country. It felt natural. After all, it was what he had been born to do.

Even if it was a little annoying, even if the interns had room temperature IQ, it was fulfilling.

Even if the computer screen tired out his eyes and forced him to wear glasses, it was worth it.

Not, mind you, that he would let anyone KNOW that he wore glasses. Oh, God, no. that would be…. Just no.

Gilbert found the ministry of finance reports underneath a stack of magazines in his bottom drawer and leafed through them. Oh, of course page three would be missing. Why wouldn't it be? Shifting the contents of the drawer around a little more, Gilbert found the missing page crinkled up at the back of the drawer.

Smoothing out the page on his desk with the palm of his hand, Gilbert grabbed a red pen and started underlining information. Time to get serious, here. Terrific spread sheets didn't just make themselves, you know.

XxXxX

"Well, well, well. I see how it is, Gilbert." Gilbert jumped. He was so involved with transferring the information in the documents to the computer and inputting formulas that he hadn't even heard anyone slip in. Recognizing the voice instantly, Gilbert looked up guiltily. Roderich was standing by the door with two cups of tea and an annoyed look on his face.

"When I wear glasses it's all specks and four-eyes and goggles from you. Isn't that just pot calling the kettle black?" Roderich sounded like he was enjoying his discovery a little too much. This probably didn't bode well for Gilbert.

Gilbert clawed at his face to remove the glasses. Maybe if he could just get them off then Roderich would forget about the whole thing. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

"No, Gilbert, leave them on. They suit you." Gilbert removed the glasses anyways and tossed them onto the desk with a scowl. He was mostly just pissed that he had been caught wearing them.

Roderich walked over to the desk and leaned over a little. "I said leave them on," he said, his voice dangerously quite and serious. Reluctantly, Gilbert picked the glasses up and placed them back on his nose. The tone of Roderich's voice left no room for argument. He was caught anyways. Let the Austrian have his moment to gloat.

Satisfied, Roderich put one of the cups down on the desk. "What are you doing here," Gilbert asked.

"Hmm. Well. I called earlier to talk to your brother. He mentioned that you were hard at work doing finance reports. I sat there a moment, thinking of you sitting behind a desk, working hard. Making lists, crunching numbers, and the like. Imagine you, being respectable for once. It's kinda hot. I got turned on thinking about it. I decided to come over here and fuck you on your desk." Roderich's voice was calm as he spoke. After he was finished speaking he made eye contact with Gilbert and took a sip of his tea.

Gilbert was speechless. He knew weird shit turned Roddy on but this had to be the weirdest. But then again, it seemed right up his ally. Roderich was attracted to Gilbert's rough and tumble bad boy awesomeness (Gilbert's own words…. Would Roderich ever be caught saying something so asinine?) but he also ate it up when Gil played the nice guy. If you took Gilbert and added flowers, romantic surprises, or blush worthy complements, more often than not Roderich's panties hit the floor (Again… Gilbert's own words, much to Roderich's chagrin).

"I… on my desk? Right now?" Gilbert said dumbly, his pulse quickening at the thought. Roderich took another sip of his tea and said airily, "Mm. Yes, that was the plan. Before I found out you are a big old hypocrite, that is." _Oh, now he's just teasing me,_ Gilbert lamented silently. _Like you tease him? _Some part of his mind retorted.

Roderich sat his cup down on the side table by the chair. "I suppose we could still fuck," he said exasperatedly. "But you've gotta get me back into the mood. Want to know how you can do that?"

Gilbert bit back a cheeky reply. This was Roderich's game now and all Gilbert could do is play it until Roderich took pity on him and relented or duck out completely and miss all the fun. And truthfully, Gilbert found it completely arousing when Roderich was being the assertive one.

Roderich continued, taking Gilbert's silence as assent. "You have to sit there, looking completely sexy in your glasses and button up shirt and demonstrate to me how hard a worker you are. Completely ignore the fact that I'm here. I'll let you know when I've had enough. Can you do that?"

Gilbert nodded dumbly, not trusting himself to reply. He was beginning to feel the first pangs of arousal in his lower regions. Just the thought of Roderich toying with him got him off. But he had to play it cool. He could do this. Reaching his hand forward, he grabbed his tea cup and took a sip to wet his mouth. He sat the cup down calmly and took up his papers and pen. After all, he had to get these spreadsheets done.

Yes, let's see. Page four is where he left off. Column two, budgeting for office supplies for the Secretary of Agriculture. Gilbert typed a couple of numbers in on the computer. _I can do this._ Let's see, based on the number of employees and last year's allotment for supplies the Secretary is asking for a 27% increase for buying paper products. Unacceptable. Germany isn't made of money, you know.

He risked a peak at Roderich. Roderich met his gaze with a lifted eyebrow, as if to say _what do you think you're doing looking over here? Get back to work. _Ahem. Page five. Allotments for buying ink cartridges and copier toner for the Secretary of Agriculture. A ten percent decrease? Well, ok, it's his funeral. Approved.

_I wonder if he'll stay the night with me? _Gilbert had unconsciously let his gaze drift back to Roderich, who was sipping his tea. Roderich put the cup down with an annoyed _thunk_ and said irritably, "The longer you distract yourself by looking over here the longer you're going to have to wait."

Gilbert felt frustrated. How was he suppose to focus on his work when there was a sexy brunette sitting not twelve feet away, promising a fuck on his office desk later? It was going to take all of his will power. It was going to take all of his prowess. It was going to take all of his _awesomeness. _But by George, he could do it!

Page five, column two. Allotments for cost of living raises for the employees of the Secretary of Agriculture. Ugh. This was going to be a headache. Gilbert put red lines through several of the figures. Maybe if the Secretary will compromise on the outrageous 37% travel expense increase he's asking for….

Gilbert didn't notice himself getting caught up in his little world of numbers and allotments but Roderich sure did. _I don't think I've ever seen him so serious,_ Roderich thought with amusement. _Look at how cute he is, sitting there frowning at his papers. And those glasses? Damn…. _

It was making him kind of tight in the pants. Roderich finished his cold tea in one gulp and checked his watch. Gilbert had been working steadily for half an hour. How diligent he was. That deserves a reward, does it not?

"Hey, Gil. You look so busy there. I'm sure you can't get away from your work today. I should probably leave and come back some other time," Roderich said breezily. Oh, yes. Sometimes it was satisfying to dish back what he normally got dealt by Gilbert.

When Roderich first started talking, Gilbert had looked up, a tad confused at being pulled out of his work. He quickly remembered then even more quickly started panicking as what Roderich was saying sunk in. "Wha—you're leaving? What the hell Roderich? You can't leave!" to Roderich's amusement he sounded a tad desperate. Gilbert was probably worried he'd end up jacking off in the bathroom. Like Roderich would be that cruel.

"I'm just kidding you. Don't fall for everything you hear, Gil. Now how about you get that desk cleared off post haste?" Gilbert felt like just sweeping everything onto the floor. But that would just be a total nightmare later. He scrambled to stuff papers into folders and toss them into the drawer. He threw his blotter on the floor and swept the pencil cup into the drawer. Ok. That just leaves the computer. Gil picked the monitor up and put it on the floor beside the wall.

Roderich watched the scramble with amusement. When Gilbert was done he stood up from his chair and walked slowly over to the desk. Running his hand along the ledge as he walked past, Roderich walked to the far side and sat on the edge of the desk. He leaned back, supporting himself with his hands, and gave Gilbert a sultry look. Gilbert hurried around the table to stand in front of Roderich. Gilbert was afraid to touch him without his permission. After all, this was still his game.

Seeing Gil hesitate, Roderich smiled. Yes, it was his game and it pleased him that Gilbert was playing it so nicely. He laid back on the desk and scooted backwards to fit himself comfortably. "Get up here," he said. Gilbert didn't need to be told twice. He climbed onto the desk, straddling Roderich. Gilbert moved to take off his glasses again but Roderich stopped him. "No, they stay on. You don't know how sexy they look on you."

Gilbert wasn't happy to leave his glasses on. After all, they were his embarrassing secret. But he could do nothing but oblige. Not being able to still himself another second, Gilbert leaned forward and stroked Roderich's cheek and jaw line with his thumb. Lifting the brunette's chin with his thumb, Gilbert leaned forward and captured his lips. Roderich might have played the dominate one early on but right now he was melting under the kisses and caresses. It wasn't that he was losing his own game. He was just…. Letting Gilbert shuffle the deck a little.

Pushing Roderich's shirt up while they kissed, Gilbert ran his hands over the flawless skin. He ran his hands up Roderich's waist and felt its familiar shape. He ran his hands down Roderich's stomach before gripping his hips and feeling the bone underneath the skin. Gilbert loved Roderich's hips. They were magnificent. They were subtle yet defined, pressing lightly to be seen clearly underneath the skin. He loved how the skin pulled taut against the hip bones while Roderich moved during sex.

Pulling away from Roderich's lips he kissed his way across his face before reaching Roderich's ear. Roderich shuddered under him when Gilbert kissed lightly underneath the ear. Gilbert then took Roderich's ear lobe into his mouth and sucked on it. He rolled it gently between his teeth and Roderich gave a helpless "Nnngh!"

Gilbert let the ear lobe go, letting his lips drag over the flesh as he released it. Roderich propped himself up and Gilbert helped remove his shirt. That was much better. Gilbert sucked loudly on his collar bone next. He nipped at the flesh lightly and Roderich gasped. Gilbert licked the reddening flesh and Roderich let out a brief moan. He began unbuckling Roderich's pants before the other one stopped him. "It's not fair for me to be totally naked while you're dressed."

Gilbert relented and leaned over Roderich, supporting himself on the desk. Roderich began twisting the buttons open, allowing Gilbert's shirt to fall open above him. When he was totally finished Roderich sat up a little and kissed Gilbert's chest. Laying back down Roderich was aware of the tightness in his pants becoming uncomfortable. Trying to reposition himself so he could easily remove his shirt, Gilbert ended up brushing his hips against Roderich's. They both gasped and a blush rose lightly to Roderich's face. Seeing the effect it had on Roderich, Gilbert ground their hips together again. Roderich gasped and grasped Gilbert's shoulders.

It was becoming too intense for Gilbert to bear anymore. Sure, it had been fun to play around and to tease but now it was time to get serious. He finished undoing Roderich's pants and pulled them off, underwear and all. Roderich sighed as his erection was released from its bonds into the cold air. Gilbert clawed at his own offending pants impatiently, shimmying them down his hips and using his leg to kick them off.

Reaching over the side, Gilbert opened the center desk drawer and rooted around. He gave a triumphant cry as he found what he was looking for and slammed the drawer shut. Dangling the bottle of lube over Roderich he gave a triumphant smile.

"Why do you keep that in your desk?"

"Cos I always knew the day would come when you'd be so overcome by my awesomeness that you'd fuck me on my desk."

"Pffffft. Yeah, right. You probably found that in the drawer whenever Ludwig gave you this desk. That's kind of creepy, actually."

Gilbert shrugged indifferently. Creepy, yes. Convenient? Also a yes. Roderich watched as Gilbert slicked up his fingers. He blushed and looked away. He could do this a million times and he felt like he would still blush every time. Gilbert repositioned himself, half laying on Roderich, supporting his weight with his left arm, and trailing his right hand down Roderich's thighs. Roderich spread his legs to allow Gilbert better access.

Gilbert entered him with one finger. He looked up at Roderich with surprise. "You're… ah, awful loose there, Roddy."

Roderich's bush deepened to alarming levels. "I stretched myself in the bathroom before I came in with the tea. I was going to fuck you right then, remember? But you distracted me with your glasses."

Gilbert grinned at Roddy's uncomfortable explanation and slipped another finger into him. Roderich distracted himself during the unpleasantness by running his eyes over the lines of Gilbert's upper body. He skimmed over his strong shoulders and stopped to linger on a small smattering of freckles.

Gilbert finished stretching Roderich, impatient to get on with it. He poured some more lube into his hand and ran it over his erection. Good to go, baby. "Are you ready?" Gilbert asked Roderich. His lover nodded and Gilbert slipped into him. Roderich gasped uncomfortably as Gilbert filled him. Gilbert waited until Roderich nodded before moving.

They started out slow, finding their rhythm and testing each other out. It had been too long since they had last been together. It came back to them quickly and they fell into their normal pace. Roderich was turning his head to the side and breathing heavily. Gilbert watched his face intently, memorizing every expression. His lover was so beautiful.

Out of the corner of his eye Gilbert saw movement. He slipped up in his rhythm, going deeper into Roderich than he had before. Roderich moaned loudly and squeezed his eyes shut. Gilbert, never breaking pace, turned his head towards the door and saw a horrified Ludwig caught like a deer in the headlights. Angrily mouthing _get the hell out of here_ while flapping his hand, Gilbert urged West to leave. If Roderich sees West seeing them he'll die of shame. Worse, he wouldn't let Gilbert finish.

West finally took the hint and backed out of the door. Thankfully, he closed it quietly. Roderich opened his eyes and gripped Gilbert's shoulder with one hand and pumped himself with the other hand. Gilbert quickly forgot about West and moved faster seeing as how they were coming to the climax.

Roderich came first, keeping his eyes open so he could stay with Gilbert as he orgasmed. France had once told Gilbert that if your lover looks you in the eyes while you make love then it means they truly care about you. The thought briefly crossed his mind as he felt Roderich stiffen under him. Gilbert wasn't far behind. He pushed once more into Roderich and felt himself release.

Feeling a little weak in the arms, Gilbert allowed his head to fall into the crook of Roderich's shoulder. He stayed like that, panting into his lover's shoulder until he regained his strength. He sat up and carefully pulled out of Roderich.

He helped his lover up and grimaced at the jelly like feeling in his muscles. Holding himself up had really tore him up. He'd probably feel it tomorrow. His knees hurt, too, probably from the hardness of the desk. Ah, well. It had definitely been worth it. His glasses were askew on his face. Gilbert pulled them off and threw them indifferently onto his office chair.

Roderich groaned as he saw the mess they had made and slapped a hand over his face. Chuckling, Gilbert picked up his underwear and used it to clean himself and his lover up. The desk could wait a moment. He and Roderich quickly dressed. "Are you going to stay the night?" Gilbert asked casually. He was secretly hoping that Roderich would say yes.

"Yes, I'd like to stay. If you want me to, that is."

"Of course I do, Roddy."

"Ok, then," Roderich said, trying to suppress a smile. Sometimes they were bad at expressing their feelings for each other but they usually didn't make too much of a mess of it. Like it or not, they were suited for each other.

Gilbert debated on telling Roderich about West but then decided against it. It would only stress Roderich out. And, really, who gives a fuck. West is a big boy now, he knows what's up.

Right now Gilbert had bigger fish to fry than spreadsheets or his peeping tom pervert brother. Namely, cuddling the hell out of his love.

**[A/N Ahahaha. I'd like to write a couple of more chapters for this one-shot sometime in the vague, not immediate future. I'd like to get some other one-shots written first. Yeah. I really don't have much more to add except thanks for reading and please review!] **


End file.
